Dickhead Anecdote #10: Dam Bitch! (Part 2)

Woah Woah Woah,  wait a minute. If you ain't read Part 1 yet, go read that first. Done? Good.
As you were...

“We've spent 30 minutes in Holland. 20 of those minutes have been sat outside this toilet.” Deeby noted.

“He's definitely taking a shit.” Chris added.

Rich finally steps out of the toilet. Chris and Deeby applaud him. Rich has his hands in the air and his head hung in shame as he admits “I couldn't go, man. That was a lot.”

Chris and Deeby decide its best not to ask what that means and leave the airport.

“It's this train... Yeah, I'm pretty sure, it's this one... And this stop. We get off here... And then we get on this tram... Yep, yep. I definitely recognise this place. Let's get off here...”

“What you getting you camera out for?” Rich protested.

“'Cos we're in Dam, Bitch!” Deeby replied.

“You're pissing me off, we ain't even found a hostel yet, we've been walking about in the rain for hours, I wanna put my bags down and you're taking pictures! Let's find a fucking hostel, man.”
It was an hour or four after Rich humorously lost his shit that the gang finally got settled and found a coffee shop to jam in.

I've got that shirt.

After a zoot and a chat with two bright American girls, the gang finally started to feel like they were on holiday. Not a moment after the girls had left... “Which one would you bang?!” Urges Rich.
It's a legitimate question, just not one that should be asked moments before you spend 20 mins in the bathroom.
“He's not taking another shit, is he?” Deeby asks “He took one earlier.”
Chris pulled his trademark face. It read “That's grim!”

Halfway through another zoot, Rich's phone buzzes. “Awww fuckin' 'ell!” cries Rich.
“What?”
“Just got another message from my auntie”
“So?”
“Brother Richard.” he began “We love you. We care for you. Keep the Devil at bay. May marijuana taste like Bitter Gold. Love auntie. What the fuck, man? I bet my mum told her to send me that. You two have no idea how lucky you are not to have parents on your back all the time.”

“I hear that,” Deeby agreed “And what are you doing? You've been on your phone for ages.”

“I just wrote a poem.” Chris explained.
“What?”
“Yeah, bruv. Just wrote a poem.”
Rich and Deeby burst into laughter. Rich, the first to gather his thoughts, eloquently says... “You're fucked, mate.”

How have they scored so many goals? ...And why haven't I cut my hair yet?

“We get to watch the World Cup in a foreign land.” Rich was excited, this was half his reason for visiting Amsterdam in the first place. “Germany vs Brazil today. Argentina vs Holland tomorrow. Yeeeeeah boy!” With him building so much hype, it came as a massive surprise when at half time of the Germany/Brazil game (Germany being 5-0 up), Rich decides to pack it in and pass out! Gone. Fully asleep. “He's supposed to be the heavyweight.” Deeby clarified.

Chris laughs... “Dickhead of the year goes to...!”

Chris' Poem: Poetry

Is a poem when you're high really a poem.
Perhaps instead it is a Vision. Into the soul.
Being high is like a poem.

Poetry. 

Dam Bitch!
Part 3 coming soon.