Dickhead anecdote 8: Freshers

Freshers. A huge student night out. Everyone’s bought a ticket. It’s gonna be a MAD one.
You wouldn’t want to flop this kind of night out, would you? Well four Dickheads flopped left, right and centre. See how below:

Chris: No entry Dickhead

Pre-drinks for this kind of night out are a must... and they’re even better if you play a drinking game. The lads decide to play The Call of Duty (COD) drinking game. Here's the rules, a swig of beer every time you die, and two if you get stabbed. Unfortunately, Chris isn’t very good at the game…. He dies…. A LOT. 

Call of Duty: Classic Pissheads

POW, skip to a few hours later and Chris is excitedly jumping over one of the barriers to queue at the club. “You ain’t getting in, mate” says the bouncer. To make things worse, jumping the barrier wasn’t even necessary – Nobody was even in the queue yet! Dickhead!

Pao: KO’d Dickhead

Pao gets in to enjoy the night out, but not for very long! He gets into a fight he doesn’t even remember and is sent home in a taxi with a bloody nose. To this day he doesn’t remember what happened. Maybe he tried to move to someone’s girl? Maybe he spilt someone’s drink? Maybe he’s just a dickhead!

Bradley: Walking home Dickhead

Bradley notices that all his friends are gone! Chris didn’t get in and Pao disappeared, what’s the next logical thing to do? Go home. Walk. Why not? Makes sense. At least, it would if Bradley’s home was anywhere remotely near the club! This night out was in Hertfordshire and Bradley lives in London. Casually and drunkly walking along the motorway, Bradley truly believes he’ll get home. The police see him, stop him and escort him back to Pao’s house. Dickhead!

Meanwhile, Bradderz is like...

J: Window Dickhead

Props to J, he manages to stay in the club for the whole night. When it was clear Chris was never gonna get into the night of a lifetime, J gave Chris his home key. Of course, Chris decides to complicate matters by hitchhiking in someone else’s taxi and staying at another friend’s house. With Pao knocked out and unlikely to wake at the sound of a nuclear bomb and Bradley still experiencing his run in with the police, J is oblivious when he knocks on his front door as to why no one is answering.

J panics, how the hell is he going to get in? Simple: He jumps over the fence to the backyard, gets the ladder in the garden, climbs up to Pao’s window and….. REMOVES THE ENTIRE WINDOW. Literally, pulls the window out of it’s frame, climbs in and to goes to bed.

Yep, Pao sleeps through it all!

Dickhead, dickhead, dickhead aaaand Dickhead.

Dickhead out.