June Dickhead: An Ibiza Special

So surprisingly, it’s been a pretty Dickhead free month in London. I guess that means there are no nominations and that the members of DOTY have finally changed their Dickhead ways……

Not a chance! The only reason it’s been so peaceful is because several members of the Dickhead gang have been causing mayhem in Ibiza (a place where Dickheads thrive)!

 

 

Ms. Dynamite Dickhead

I'm Ms Dy-Nah-My-Tee eee!

Chris sees Ms Dynamite the night after her concert in Gatecrasher Ibiza (a club in San Antonio). She’s in the VIP area of course so nobody can get there. Does this stop Chris? Nope. “Nah man I’m getting with Ms. Dynamite” he says drunkenly to the group. “How much is the VIP area??” 

The night ends and Chris doesn’t manage to get into the VIP area. Shame! But he doesn’t stop there. He sees Ms. Dynamite outside on the phone.
“Now’s my chance!” He says to himself.
Chris makes the whole group wait ages for her to finish her call just so he can get a selfie. Then he claims that he got with Ms. Dynamite. We claim he’s chatting shit. Dickhead! 

Passport Dickhead

 

This one isn’t about a member of the Dickhead gang, but definitely deserves a mention.

On their way to an after party now, the gang meet a drunken guy who unexpectedly yet persistently follows the group telling them that his girlfriend dumped him whilst on holiday and that he has no money left, but still wants to go on a night out despite his obviously terrible position. He's basically Richard from the Inbetweeners Movie: 

Anyway, later on in the night after having successfully ditched him, Chris and Brad see him again. He’s only gone and sold his passport…. for ketamine. We call bullshit again. Dickhead!

Sleeping on the beach Dickheads

On an unplanned night full of havoc in San Antonio, the gang get separated! Most of the group decide to go back to the hotel. Not Chris and J (New Dickhead here). They decide to continue partying all night…. And morning. 

At 9am they decide they should probably stop and go back. Chris suggests walking back. After about ten minutes they realise their hotel is on the other side of the island. Seeing as it’s 9am and they’re pretty tired and drunk, instead of deciding to take a taxi they notice a fence connecting to a hotel full of tanning chairs and even little beds lined over the sand. 

Somehow they get a brilliant idea: “Let’s just take two of these and sleep on the beach”. Everything is going well…. For about two minutes. A grumpy looking Spanish man appears out of nowhere and chases them away, likely cursing in Spanish, with his fist in the air like a scene from a cartoon! 

They eventually get a taxi back….. but they realise none of them took a set of keys from the others before separating from the group…. The only option: ACTUALLY sleeping on the beach! Dickheads

 

Who wins this month?

Dickhead Out.