A
beer in the park kind of day. Ice cream, water fights and sunshine.
Deeby and Chris jam in a corner of the green green park as a European
family hula hoop a couple of meters away.
“I
really want to hula hoop,” Says Deeby, “I wander if I can still
Hula hoop. I’m gonna ask them if I can have a go.”
“Don't, man.” argues Chris, “You'll embarrass me... and you... but me more so.”
“Nah, bruv, I won't. When I was about 10 I once decided to hula hoop all the way through break time just to see if I could. And I did. 'Cos my hips don't lie and I'm amazing.”
“Nah, man. Don't go up to them.” argues Chris.
“Don't act like you don't want a go. I see you looking at them.”
“Don't, man.” argues Chris, “You'll embarrass me... and you... but me more so.”
“Nah, bruv, I won't. When I was about 10 I once decided to hula hoop all the way through break time just to see if I could. And I did. 'Cos my hips don't lie and I'm amazing.”
“Nah, man. Don't go up to them.” argues Chris.
“Don't act like you don't want a go. I see you looking at them.”
It's
true. He was staring at the hula hoop family (but not like creep.
He's a Dickhead, not a creep). Chris was deep in thought. The image
of a hula hoop had re-ignited a long lost dickhead memory.
About 2 years prior to that beer in the park kind of day, Dona had invited The Dickhead Gang over to her place to celebrate her birthday.
About 2 years prior to that beer in the park kind of day, Dona had invited The Dickhead Gang over to her place to celebrate her birthday.
Pao
and Chris had decided to trot to Dona's place together.
“Did you get Dona a present?” asked Chris
“No, did you?” replied Pao
“Nah. We should get her something. She's gonna think we're bad friends.”
“We are, though.”
“Yeah but as long as she doesn't THINK we're bad friends, then we can continue to be bad friends.”
“I suppose.” Pao yielded, finding sense in Chris' argument. “Should we go back and buy her something?”
“Nah, we're like 5 minutes away from her house. I'm not gonna turn around. Let’s stop walking for a second.” They stop walking. “Look around you. What do you see?”
Pao 360's his current location. They're dead in the middle of a half-run down council estate, next to a Primary School.
“I see flats, parked cars and rubbish. Bags and bags of rubbish.”
“I see a hula hoop. It's perfect.”
It's true. He was staring at a hula hoop. One so conveniently placed for the dustbin men to collect, along with other toys from the Primary School that had withered away at the hands of children for years and years, ready to be melted plastic and laid to rest like Woody and Buzz Lightyears worst nightmare. The toys stank.
“Dona's gonna love this.” smiled Chris.
“Did you get Dona a present?” asked Chris
“No, did you?” replied Pao
“Nah. We should get her something. She's gonna think we're bad friends.”
“We are, though.”
“Yeah but as long as she doesn't THINK we're bad friends, then we can continue to be bad friends.”
“I suppose.” Pao yielded, finding sense in Chris' argument. “Should we go back and buy her something?”
“Nah, we're like 5 minutes away from her house. I'm not gonna turn around. Let’s stop walking for a second.” They stop walking. “Look around you. What do you see?”
Pao 360's his current location. They're dead in the middle of a half-run down council estate, next to a Primary School.
“I see flats, parked cars and rubbish. Bags and bags of rubbish.”
“I see a hula hoop. It's perfect.”
It's true. He was staring at a hula hoop. One so conveniently placed for the dustbin men to collect, along with other toys from the Primary School that had withered away at the hands of children for years and years, ready to be melted plastic and laid to rest like Woody and Buzz Lightyears worst nightmare. The toys stank.
“Dona's gonna love this.” smiled Chris.
They
rock up to Dona’s birthday party with huge grins and hand her the
hula hoop. A confused looking Dona accepts the gift, and tries to act
grateful despite being baffled!
“We
paid like £15 for that gift! You better like it!” Chris argues.
Dickhead!
“That
was over 2 years ago.” Deeby reminded him on that beer in the park
kind of day. “You reckon she's still has it?”
“Only one way to find out.” Chris produces his phone.
“Well, whilst you're being a phone whore...” Deeby walks to the European hula hooping family and asks to hula hoop with them (but not like creep. He's a Dickhead, not a creep).
“Thrust the hips,” Deeby reminds himself “It's all in the hips.”
And so he thrusts and thrusts and thrusts and... “Hey Chris, check it out!” Deeby exclaims, “I still got it!”
“I know,” Chris laughs “... So does Dona!”
“Only one way to find out.” Chris produces his phone.
“Well, whilst you're being a phone whore...” Deeby walks to the European hula hooping family and asks to hula hoop with them (but not like creep. He's a Dickhead, not a creep).
“Thrust the hips,” Deeby reminds himself “It's all in the hips.”
And so he thrusts and thrusts and thrusts and... “Hey Chris, check it out!” Deeby exclaims, “I still got it!”
“I know,” Chris laughs “... So does Dona!”
For
the record Deeby hula hoops like this.
And Chris
hula hoops like this.
Dickhead
out.
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