Who Was Crowned DOTY 2013?

So "Who was crowned Dickhead Of The Year 2013?" I hear you cry. Lemme give you the Nominations.

Rich: “The Jogger”

It's a wonderful summer's day. Rich, Chris and Deeby go to the park, eat and Macky D's and perv on Jogger girls. They don't Cat Call though, they're bigger than that. Well, Chris and Deeby are.

The conversation between the boys come to a stop as three females in jogger garments walk to a stop in front of them. Ready. They turn and crouch into a stance. Steady. One of them looks at Deeby square in the eyes. Go. “You can tell she's trying to lose weight”, Richard says. Not even a little bit subtle.

The woman gawking at Deeby has her jaw dropped as she jogs off.
Richard's smile is like the one below.

Chris: “Tell Her”

There's a game Lads play called “Tell Her”. Rules are simple.

A player says something about someone. He must say “Tell her” before another player does. If he does not. Then whatever statement the player says must be told to said person.

Example #1:

Deeby says “That girl in the red dress is gorgeous. Tell Her.”
Deeby is SAFE.

Example #2:

Deeby says “That girl in the red dress is gorgeous.”

Chris says “TELL HER!”

Deeby MUST go and tell girl in red dress that she is Gorgeous.

Simple right?

The game can make nights out interesting. Usually we open and close the game by agreeing on it but in May we found ourselves playing the game so often, we decided to never stop playing the game, EVER!

In December (8 Months of Non-stop play) ...

Chris says, half drunk “If I ever got with >Insert girls name< I'd facebook status it and tag all my friends.”

Bradley, the legend, exclaims “TELL HER!”

To this day, Chris never has. And we've never played the game since.

Aks: “Man out of 10”

Plenty of men rate women on a scale of one to ten. The rating has nothing to do with woman's interests, skills or personality. It's skin deep. It's looking at her and finding a number to match what she looks like right now. Only Dickheads do it 'cos it's a bad habit.

Once the habit got so bad that Aks once coined the term “Man out of 10” specifically for this one girl that was so harmful to his eyes, she may as well have been a man. A man would not get with this girl unless they really liked her personality and/or are gay.

Aks got with said girl. Aks made of with her. Aks called her “Man out of 10” and then kissed her. He's says he's not gay. She might just have a really nice personality.

Deeby: “New Cross Gate”

It's new years eve. Deeby's leads his friends to a house party in South London. There are two stations. One called New Cross and one called New Cross Gate. The house party is situated at a two minute walk away from one of these stations and a 15 minute walk away from the other.

Deeby took them to them the station in which they were forced to walk 15 minutes to the house. No, they weren't late for anything. Yes, they had a good time at the house party and NO, nobody missed the countdown.

Yes. Deeby was crowned Dickhead of the Year for this very act. Bit harsh, don't you think?

Dickhead out.