It's December
already?
Dickhead of The Year 2014 is almost over.
Boy do we
have a year to be proud of.
Here's what happened last month!
Facebook Dickhead
Everyone knows a
Dickhead that broadcasts his or her Dickhead thoughts via Facebook
statuses.
The gang almost (ALMOST) felt bad nominating this guy,
Rinza, 'cos, truth be told, they don't really know him that well.
Still, a Dickhead's a
dickhead. And DOTY will hunt them down...
I know, right?
Dickhead.
Piff Friday Dickhead
The Dickhead Gang
usually celebrate their weekends by hanging out on a Friday night,
sharing a few bags of piff and passing round a bong. Often in between
activities such as freestylin' rap bars, sippin' sambuca and watching
bullshit on the internet.
When the crew DO write
bars, one person usually doesn't get involved, Rich. It's not out of
some self moral high ground or because he lacks the talent but purely
because sometimes he thinks he lacks the talent.
On this one
particular Piff Friday, Chris tells media expert, Deeby, to get out
his camera and record the night. It was to be a night of “Off the
Top” lyrical maliciousness and misogyny, the sort to give Eminem a
scare as he witnesses our lyrical phylogeny... and boy did it go
well.
Chris dropped 64 bars.
Deeby dropped 64 bars.
Chris was
performing to the camera like a rap god. Deeby followed suit Everyone was hype, everyone was rapping and then... So did Rich...
and he was amazing.
Deeby forgot to press
record though. There were some special moments that night... and
nobody else will ever know.
Dickhead.
Elf Dickhead
Half
the Dickhead Gang decided to join a 6 a side football league. Rushed
into giving the organisers a team name, Captain Rich declares that
“We are to be called East London's Finest … But just type it in
as E.L.F” he tells us (Not sure what was wrong with calling them
“The Dickhead Gang”).
The
night of the team's first game quickly arrives and it's at this point
when the team fixtures and kick off times are finally published. Also
at this point, the team names are up in flashing lights and on
banners. Every league player got to feel pumped for the coming weeks
and pride for the team they were representing. Confusion fell upon
The Dickhead Gang though,when they found out that their team name was
“Elf”.
Now
not so pumped for the coming weeks or any pride for the team they
were representing, the gang trudged onto the tournament as other
teams laughed and joked. With a team name like “Elf”, they were
surely not to be taken seriously. For the next three weeks, Rich
heard a barrage of insults at his incapability to remember to put in
full stops.
It
wasn't until moments before this post was written that a few of the
gang wanted to find out what the teams current position in the league
was. Of course, their go to guy for info like this was Captain Rich.
Problem was, when they asked, Rich was all like “I Dunno...”
“How
do you not know? You're the manager, aint ya?” they asked.
“No.”
“Well
who is then?”
“He is.” Rich answers, pointing at the only
member of The Dickhead Gang yet to earn himself a Dickhead
Nomination.
Meet
Cons, Ladies and Gentlemen.
And
he was happy to carry on letting Rich take the heat...
Ha.
What a Dickhead.
Who
d'you think wins this month?
Last
round of nominations in December.
Keep your eyes peeled.
Dickhead
out.
